Sunday, June 3, 2012

Marriage Thoughts III: Going Home

Before the Pilot and I were married, I just assumed that adjusting to a new life in Wichita Falls would be rather difficult. And when I found it easier than I expected, I assumed that going back to visit Colorado Springs would feel strange, like arriving on stage after the play is over and everyone has gone home.

The first three months of being married, I shied nervously away from referring to Colorado Springs as "home". Other girls I'd met would speak of going "home" to visit their families, and I would mentally hold up my little SHUN sign to keep myself from somehow catching the same mentality. Home is wherever the Pilot is, I told myself sternly. With him and nowhere else!

Then not too long ago, someone told me that being in the Air Force means you will have multiple homes. Thinking of where you grew up as "home" is not somehow disloyal to where you are now: it simply admits that our hearts are capable of loving old homes and new ones. I liked that.

This is the third time I've been back to Colorado since getting married, and I find that none of my fears of it being strange have any reality. The slip back into the old home is effortless; I know the rhythms of the current of life here, and being married doesn't change the ability to swim with it. There is only one thing that is changed, and that is cherishing the time more, because I know it's limited.

So now I don't mind it when new friends ask when I'm going home to visit my family, or when old friends say "welcome home"! I am home here, and next week I'll also go home, home to the man who makes it home, wherever we happen to be.


  1. I completely agree. Over the last few years I have needed home to be so many places, largely for the comfort that the concept invokes. Just to know that where I am can be home, even temporarily, even when I know perhaps only one another person within 500 miles...calling it home means I can survive. It means I might even be able to offer hospitality to others in that same place, days or weeks or months down the road!

    This song, by the head and the heart, has been an anthem of sorts as I walk the line of home-sickness and being home-ness here in Toronto:

    I know that my heart longs to eventually settle down somewhere, to set down roots that can be cultivated and grow deeply over many years...but I'm also so thankful to be planting many gardens and small saplings along the way of this adventure!

  2. Neat song!

    I like the image of planting small gardens and saplings along the way. One thing I've struggled with is knowing that since I'm only in Wichita Falls for a short time (and will only be in Phoenix for 11 months) that I most likely will not be able to have friendships as deep as the ones I have here in Colorado, simply because I had years in Colorado and such short times in these new places. The temptation for me is to not even try, and I've had to fight against that, and try to reach out and pursue friendships with other women even if they will be only for a short time.

    The challenge for us both, perhaps, is to live in the season that God has for us now, instead of wishing to be in a different season, or for our stories to look how we want them to instead of how He has planned them to. :-) Blessings on you, friend! Thanks for being such a wonderful reader and encourager!!